“I felt like an exhibition. I remember looking at my midwife and just saying ‘his hand” Vicky Collins
Our birth experience is a difficult one for me to talk about and reflect on,” writes Vicky Collins. Our baby boy Roman was born by planned Caesarean section due to me developing gestational diabetes. This complication during pregnancy also meant that I had regular growth scans from 20 weeks.”
“We met our midwife, Karen, that morning before we went to theatre and she quickly made me and dad feel comfortable and at ease. After a few attempts at my spinal, eventually Roman was born. Karen wrapped him in towels and blankets and handed him to dad until the operation was completed and we were transferred to the recovery room. Karen asked if I would like skin to skin and put Roman to my chest and it was then that I noticed he had an underdeveloped hand and didn’t have fingers.”
“I got a fright, that’s not easy for me to admit, but no one had indicated that there was something different about Roman, they were all just stood at the bottom of my bed watching my reaction. I felt like an exhibition. I remember looking at my midwife and just saying ‘his hand’ and she just looked at my in pity and said the paediatrician was on his way. I was there, holding my son for the very first time myself wondering what was wrong with him and what I had done to cause this.”
“Karen explained that she hadn’t wanted to tell us in theatre because she couldn’t find the words and thought it would be better if we discovered ourselves. I till struggle to process this at times. I understand her perspective but from my side would it have been better if we had been prepared? Or would it have added anxiety and fear? I’m still not sure.”
“It was another agonising hour before the paediatrician came to examine Roman. He was reassuring us that we had a healthy baby boy in our arms! He said he was quite sure that his hand was a congenital anomaly and nothing that was associated with any further conditions. He also said he was a lucky boy as he has a fully functioning thumb for grip, right on cue as Roman’s thumb went in his mouth!”
“Karen was by our side throughout all of this and was so kind to us. She even popped up to visit us the next day on her day off to see if we wanted to chat about anything. Her kindness was overwhelming and I’m so glad she was our midwife.”
Read the entire Within Reach here: https://reach.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Within-Reach-Summer-2019-Web4242.pdf