Contact us

0845 130 6225 or 020 3478 0100 or click here.

Helping children with upper limb differences live life without limits

  • Ideas for fundraising
    • Fundraise for Reach
    • How to donate to Reach
    • Fundraising stars
  • Who are Reach?
    • Children show us what makes Reach awesome!
    • Who are Reach?
    • Become a Branch Coordinator
    • Reach Brand Guidelines
    • Vision, Governance & Policies
    • Research Resources
      • Partner Organisations
  • Upper limb difference
    • Causes of Congenital Hand Differences (CHDs)
    • Is surgery an option?
    • Writing from experience: ‘5 Tips on how I got to acceptance with my limb difference’
    • What is it like to live with one arm?
  • Early years
    • Early years
    • What to expect: referrals and appointments
    • Your first visit to a Limb Centre
    • Car seat adaption
  • Disability Living Allowance
    • Can I claim Disability Living Allowance (DLA)?
    • Transfering to Personal Independence Payments (PIP)
  • School years
    • Starting school
    • Dealing with questions
    • Starting school – a teacher’s perspective
    • Dealing with issues at school
    • Riding a bike
    • Teacher training & classroom resources
  • Learning to drive
    • Joseph passing his driving test
    • Apply for a Reach Bursary
  • Helping kids explore their musical talents
    • One Handed Recorder and Scissor Kits to hire
    • Nicolas McCarthy – one handed pianist
    • Single Handed Clarinet
    • I Can…..
  • Checkout
  • Hire Equipment from us
  • Newsletter & Blogs
    • Inspirational WithinReach Blogs
    • Within Reach downloadable PDF’s
    • Privacy and Cookie Policy
  • Reach: Insights #NoLimits Webinar Series
  • Reach’s Inspirational Speakers
    • Young Adult Reach Member stories
    • Videos of members, trustees and staff
You are here: Home / Overcoming Negativity and seeing Difference Differently by Orla Duncan

Overcoming Negativity and seeing Difference Differently by Orla Duncan

Orla’s wise words will improve your mindset- and even your day!

“The study found that children with upper limb differences have better peer relationships and more positive emotional health compared to other kids.” Orla Duncan


We spoke to Psychosocial Nurse Practitioner Orla Duncan about the effects of the Covid-19 lockdowns on mental health, dealing with negativity towards difference and how to help overcome feelings of isolation.

Why do you think being a part of Reach is important for children and parents, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic?

Family organisations such as Reach are a hugely important source of emotional support and information. Connecting and sharing experiences with others in a similar situation can help with feelings of isolation and can bring a dimension to support that health professionals, simply cannot.

As the end of lockdown approaches, do you think the pandemic will have a lasting effect on people?

The pandemic has stopped us from seeing friends and family and may have increased existing feelings of isolation. And this is for everyone; adults, children, and young people, not just those with an upper limb difference. Many of us have felt “safe” at home and may now feel unsure about larger gatherings or apprehensive when lockdown does eventually end. In sharing these feelings, we can begin to explore solutions and we can support those who are struggling.

What advice would you give to parents and children to overcome negativity towards limb difference?

It’s important to remember that a child’s self-image comes from what they perceive about themselves and how they think others perceive them. When you give your child positive reflections, they learn to think well of themselves.

Positive responses | Responding to a child’s questions about their limb difference in a matter of fact and positive manner from an early age will help them to confidently answer questions they may receive from their peers. This will give them a sense of control over social interactions that involve questions about the limb difference and avoid a lingering sense of discomfort that results from not knowing how to answer questions.

Finding a language that works for you | Parents can model good responses to questions by managing reactions from others in a positive way. Part of my role is to help parents to find a language or way to share specific and accurate information that fits their values and purpose. I help parents to understand why strangers might ask questions, and that people, both adults and children, will ask about what they don’t understand.

Ask for help | Remember that it’s okay to ask for help with something that is new to us. Many parents may need some help finding a language that works for them initially. Most hospital teams have access to psychological and or psycho social services and reaching out to Reach to speak with another parent might be beneficial.

Focusing on ‘can’ not ‘can’t’ | Acknowledging the limb difference is important but focusing more on what your child is able to do, rather than what they can’t do is vital.

Communication | Encouraging children to tell their parents when they’ve been asked about their limb difference can help to build a communication channel between parent and child which is safe, calm, honest and developmentally appropriate, this will be beneficial in sharing thoughts and feelings as the child develops.

A great example of this came up recently, a Mum shared with me that her child (5 years old) was being “helped” by a clearly well-meaning classroom assistant. The child was frustrated because they felt that they did not need any help. The Mum asked the child what they wanted to do to address the situation. A meeting was organised between the child, the classroom assistant, and the class teacher, with the child leading the meeting. This gave the child the opportunity to explain clearly how they felt, giving them control over the situation. The child felt pleased with the outcome as they were heard, with the classroom assistant learning that no help was needed.

What would you say to parents or a young person navigating feelings of difference or isolation?

Explore the reasons why | It’s important to explore possible reasons behind the feelings of isolation and being different. Was there a situation where you might have felt uncomfortable about being asked? Are you worried about being asked again? Do you have the right help and support to be able to answer questions about your upper limb difference?

Recognize the negative feelings & associate positive feelings | Acknowledging and naming these feelings is important i.e., frustration, sadness, and then thinking about positive characteristics is important too. Placing value and emphasis on positive attributes such as determination and kindness, for example, can help you to focus on positive aspects of your personality.

Remember, your upper limb difference is part of you, but it does not define who you are as a person. Think about what your values and priorities in life are and how you might start to achieve them.

Thank you Orla, is there anything you’d like to leave us with?

Yes, something really positive to leave parents and children with was a study I read about from Boston Children’s Hospital’s Orthopedic and Sports Medicine Center. The study found that children with upper limb differences have better peer relationships and more positive emotional health compared to other kids.


“Remember, your upper limb difference is part of you, but it doesn’t define who you are as a person.” Orla Duncan


Find out more about Orla and watch her Webinar: https://reach.org.uk/reach-insights-nolimits-webinar-recordings/

Read the entire Within Reach magazine here: https://reach.org.uk/within-reach-download/

Take a look at the Charity Changing Faces- long supported by Orla: https://www.changingfaces.org.uk/

 

Watch Orlas story here:

 

Type in a word and search the website

Donate via PayPal

Donate via JustGiving

Join Reach

Get social

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Instagram

View on Instagram

Meet the bloggers

Watch & read experiences from some of our incredible community
Woman with limb difference goes on self-love journey, ‘Being different is amazing’

“The positive power of being different” - Baylee Abbott

"If I Can" Film made by Anoushe Husain

Born Without a Hand

Though she be but little
(please note these link to 3rd party sites)

Our Address

C/o TEH, Pearl Assurance House, Brook Street, Tavistock, Devon, PL19 0BN Charity numbers: England and Wales: 1134544, Scotland: SC049805. Company Limited by Guarantee. 07054164

Email us

reach@reach.org.uk

Get Social with us

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Copyright © 2022 ·

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT

Privacy Policy - Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy