Almost two years ago, as a Reach-child-turned-Reach-adult and entering a stage in my life where I thought it was about time to get my ducks in order, I decided to become a trustee for Reach. My hope was that I could use my lived experience to continue the brilliant work of all the board members who came before.
One of the first things I brought up to the board was that I had noticed that a lot of us who have the privilege of being involved in the Reach community in our younger years often wind up becoming distant as we get a bit older. To tackle this I had an idea, picture this:
It’s the summer before your eighteenth birthday and you’ve recently returned from your stay in the wilderness climbing trees, playing tag in a canoe and finally hitting the bullseye in archery with your limb difference friends.
Having been down this road many times before, you feel a sense of belonging and confidence after spending a week with a community of people who look the same as you do. But this time it’s different; you’re going to be an ‘adult’ soon, which could mean starting university or entering the world of work. It also means that this was your last Reach Activity Week and you’re not sure when — or if — you’ll see your friends again.
It could be at the annual family weekend in October, spending your student loan at the bar of a plush Marriott hotel. Or it might be at a local branch event in December watching the Christmas pantomime version of Cinderella sat next to your family whilst your younger sister shouts “HE’S BEHIND YOU!”
But you want to have your own space, surrounded by people your own age. You want to continue to grow and learn from others as you navigate adulthood, or even just to connect with people who look like you so that you feel less alone.
If this sounds similar to your experience, then I know how you feel. Because it was mine.
It was really nice to have an event like this now we’re too old for RAW. It was definitely helpful being able to have some of the deeper chats with other Reach adults that you don’t normally get to, so I really appreciate it. I won’t forget this weekend
Izi
This is exactly why, once appointed as trustee, I put forward the idea for the 18-25 Reach Retreat. And guess what? A few months ago, in April, we pulled it off!
Sixteen of us; both young adults and mentors, gathered in the south of the UK in a wonderful little town in Devon. We spent a long weekend camping in fancy tents with wooden flooring and sharing stories of living with a physical disability.
We also danced with a Clubbercise instructor overlooking the sea, foraged wild plants for our dinner and canoed across the Dartmouth estuary — on the only sunny weekend in April (I planned this too)!
But the best moments to observe were the ones of connection:
The bus rides to the activities where words of advice were given on how to approach negative attitudes towards disability. Eating meals together as a group and bonding over shared experiences of how to do certain tasks. The impromptu evening walk to the beach for a sea swim, coaxing each other into the cold with encouragement, unafraid of people staring.
I loved listening to the topics discussed about the different adaptations that are used in the kitchen, how to get over rejection when dating, and what it’s like going for a job interview when someone notices your arm.
This is exactly why the Reach Retreat was created: to facilitate a space where these discussions can happen organically and effectively. Social media is booming with creators sharing their stories of disability and the limb difference community online has provided such reassurance, but nothing beats a face-to-face opportunity to create bonds.
At Reach we are also changing our articles of association to include everyone affected by upper limb difference, and this is now being reflected in what we do. We are acknowledging that yes, at eighteen you are more socially aware, adept to the world and independent, but it’s also a really important development stage in life and without the correct support it’s easy to get lost.
Thank you to the trustees for supporting and developing this project, to the Reach staff team for helping to get it moving and to the Reach mentors; Tony, Max, Tom and Louise, for also volunteering to facilitate this event.
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